Missing the one

I miss you… I miss you all the time. Especially at night when I can’t sleep.

I’ll never forget your perfect little hands, your feet, how you tucked your pinky toe under the others, the cute stubby legs, your mis-shapen dome that you inherited from me, or your curly red tinted hair.

I remember the day you were born. I was so scared, excited, and nervous rolled into one.

The day I finally got to hold you is a day I’ll never forget. I’m sorry for crying my tears all over you. I don’t have the words to describe how it felt. It felt like nothing else I’ve ever experienced. I was the proudest Daddy in the whole wide world.

At times I feel empty, lost, sad, mad, but I think those will go away eventually or at least subside enough for me to feel better. My heart is broken into a gazillion pieces and it feels like someone took a spoon and carved out a giant piece and ran away.

I hope I can make you proud honey. I’ll try my hardest to do whats right and not let you down. I hope you find some time to watch me every now and then. Sometimes, I think I can feel you there and it makes me feel better.

Mommy and I came to see you on Saturday. I hope you knew we were there. Next time we’ll bring your sisters and some pretty flowers for you.

Say hello to my Grandma for me, ok?

I miss you beautiful baby girl…